Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
