so explain again why im purple
no
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
