are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
