Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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