Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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