I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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