she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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