ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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