Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
