any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
