You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
