The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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