She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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