she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
