great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
