Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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