There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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