what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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