Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
whose parrot is this?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
