I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I think I just sharted jello shots
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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