Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
