remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
