So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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