theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
