While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
