Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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