he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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