Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
