I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
