i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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