Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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