she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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