If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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