I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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