My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
