Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
operation have a gay friend backfired
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
