let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
