I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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