Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
where are my eyebrows?
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