life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
