At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
