i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Too much gin, very little bucket
i came on her dog
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
