I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize