I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
