Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
