dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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