I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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