a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Randomize
