I'm drive I can fine osifer
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize