It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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