I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize