That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
