I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize
