I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
