Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
