my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
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